Like anybody, I have a vision for what I want; a dream. A few dreams actually. And I’m in action to allow them to spring to life. I thought I’d share how it sometimes comes through my photo processing, since it sometimes takes you places you didn’t expect.
I’m going about this vision-to-life process differently than I have in the past. And it’s causing me to access parts of myself I’ve only ever heard about, but never truly experienced. At times it alternately feels hot, messy, deep, uncertain, mysterious, inspired, unusual; also guided, lit from the inside-out, jubilant, a revelation, awe-inspiring, joyful. How’s that for bouillabaisse? I processed this image one night when I was in a particularly grapple-y mood : (you can click on it for a larger view)
A Flashcard for “Grappling”
That night, I was feeling that brand of discontent you get when you’re searching for an answer, and it’s not just appearing spontaneously. It was one of those times where I had to go deeper to find it. I wasn’t entirely thrilled with what I was hearing on the quest. What I wanted was a neat answer, all tied up with a bow of logic. What I was getting was a nudge toward heart and soul. I was engaged in what an earlier version of me might call a metaphoric journey; but what my current version now knows is actually the way to find the true answers I desire. The requirement: be more truthful and honest with myself than I ever have been in my life before. Listen to what my heart REALLY has to say and don’t judge or alter it slightly to satisfy my brain’s comfort level.
Courage & The Reveal
This process takes more courage than I ever dreamed (and I thought I was doing it before!)… sometimes makes me more restless and grumpy for a bit than I particularly enjoy… and reveals answers that I realize I’ve sidestepped my entire life. I’ve agreed to listen and be totally honest with myself this time around. I’m surprised, sometimes startled by what I’m learning about myself. But I love where it’s taking me. It feels real. More connected. More “me” than anything I’ve experienced since I was very young.
My heart is getting a lot happier… from the inside out. And the night I created this image DID result in the breakthrough I was after, although it didn’t come clear till the next day (or maybe the day after that). It was really fascinating to look back and see where the process took me, as expressed in an image that went through quite a transformation itself.
This was where it began (which, metaphorically, seems as pale as a life driven by logic):
I just thought I’d share a moment from my own book, which may be similar to yours. It’s a story about a life well-lived. One where you look back and see your deepest, most awesome self imprinted all over it; even the messy points along the way. ALL of which resulted in a more fantastic ride than you ever dreamed possible. Except that you DID dream it… because it happened!